i have been with my husband for like 22 years. we don’t have children right now and we both want children really bad. my husband’s job requires him to travel and be gone for quite some time.He’s upset because i will not support him and be by his side for his career. i’m upset because i’m going to be here and my dream of being a mother is going to be on hold because he’s not going to be home. i just dont know what to do.
i love him very much.
i dont know if we should get a divorce or if i should stay.
how many of you wives who have husband’s that requires them to be away from home. and how do you both stay happily married.
any advice would sure help. thanks
we have been together for 19 years and we will be married for 3 years this years so that adds up to 22 years little missie.
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Why would you even consider divorcing a man you’ve been with that long over a job?
Its a tough question but the fact that your husband wants you with him when he travels is a good thing. You have no idea the business men out there who are cheating on their wives while they travel. The numbers are staggering and the wive are sitting home naively thinking…not my husband. He would never do that. You may gain a child and lose a husband so you need to weigh out whats really important given the fact that he can’t quit his job. Good luck to you.
I can not tell you what to do. That is your own personal decision. If it were me I would go with him. 22 years is allot to invest only to throw it away because a challenge presents itself. We all have this idea of what marriage is supposed to be like. Oftentimes, reality is very different.
I will tell you to think long and hard before making a decision that can alter the rest of your life.
Divorce?? You just said you love him very much. Do you know how hard that is to be in love with a person for 22 years? That’s amazing! There are so many couples that have kids regardless if either spouse’s job requires traveling. I’m sure you’ve talked about the topic a lot but does he know that you’re thinking of divorce because of this issue? You need to tell him how important this is for you. He needs to make changes to start a family.
Think of this too: if you get a divorce from a person you love so much, then what guarantee do you have of forgetting him and falling in love with another to have kids.
Best wishes
Do you love him?
My husband used to have to leave a few months a year for the military. It’s not constant but it was enough to hurt our relationship sometimes. When he could he would take me with him but that always didn’t get to happen.
See if you can travel with him sometimes. When he’s home try to spend as much time with him as possible. Maybe check into marriage counseling. My husband got out of the military so we could start a family and he was tired of being away all of the time. Plus he wanted to be an active father.
If you’re willing adoption is always a great thing. There are millions of children out there that need a good home. I know it’s not the same as giving birth but it’s an option to become a mom.
Keep talking to him. Let him know that you’re unhappy and that something needs to change. You need to support him but he needs to support you as well. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to save the marriage but leave divorce as a last resort.
You’re being selfish. You’re also assuming that you can find a guy, get married and have a kid tomorrow.
I don’t understand why this wasn’t discussed before the marriage. Is this a new job or a new situation? If so shouldn’t it have been discusses before he agreed to it?
My husband was offered a job that would have required traveling. We discussed and I said NO. If I wanted to be a single mom I wouldn’t have gotten married!
Your husband needs to realize that this is your life meaning the two of yours lives not just his. He needs to take your feelings into account as well. Marriage is a partnership and needs to be treated as one.
You said you love him very much. If that is so, why are you even considering a divorce?
Your time frame is just not adding up. You have been with your husband for 22 years? Even if you two got together at 16, that would make you 38! You are just now concerned with this? I’m sorry, but if what you’re saying is correct, you should have discussed this with your spouse Eons ago and been where you both should have been. You have a lot of back-tracking to do.Unfortunately, that usually uncovers the reason why you two shouldn’t’ have married in the first place.
It sounds like the two of you need to have some serious discussion about 1) reasons for wanting children, and what will make you feel like you have the support you would need to do so, 2) what are the priorities in your life and for your future, 3) reasons for his taking a job that requires travel, and what he needs to feel supported in that, 4) ways that you can both have what you want and be happy together. You might need to hire help, travel together, or be more creative in how you go about it. If you can’t talk about these things and get anywhere after this long, find a counselor to help.